Carson DeMartini’s most painful experience with failure came in 2022 in the Cape Cod League following his freshman season at Virginia Tech.
He batted .248 and struck out 45 times in 36 games.
“The biggest part of baseball is learning how to deal with failure,” DeMartini said.
Two years before he became the Phillies’ fourth-round draft pick, DeMartini turned to the one voice who would get him through the darkness.
“I called my dad every night saying I wanted to go home, that this sucks,” DeMartini recalled. “He worked me through that, reminded me to not look at outcomes and just focus on the process every day.”
DeMartini survived, had two successful seasons at Virginia Tech and has reached Double-A Reading in his first full season in pro ball. He did so with thanks, hard work and well-timed advice from his father.
Many current and former Phillies minor league players and manager relied heavily on their dads. Some now are feeling the pain of being dads who are away from home more often than not.
First-year IronPigs relief pitcher Devin Sweet is one of them.
He and wife Lauryn have a 2-year-old daughter, Nova, and a 5-month-old son Micah. Sweet was in the Mariners’ organization when Nova was born. The three of them were together for much of the next year, so Sweet got to see many of the milestones, from teething, talking and crawling to walking.
Sweet is not as fortunate now with Micah.
“My daughter is getting older and starting to understand when I’m not around,” he said. “When I see her, she’s super excited. She runs to me in the airport. She says she misses me every time I leave. It’s getting tougher and tougher.
“With my son, not being able to see all the milestones, it’s a tough part of baseball life.”
When Sweet’s family comes to visit, he gladly welcomes the sleepless nights or early-morning wake-up calls because he relishes the family time.
Sweet and his wife have previous experience with long-distance relationships. They met as freshmen at North Carolina Central University. But Lauryn Sweet, a volleyball player, transferred to a college in Texas closer to her family.
The two worked through the logistics. They also had many discussions when they wanted to start a family.
The 28-year-old Sweet is in his eighth professional season after being signed by the Mariners as an undrafted free agent in 2018. The Phillies are his fourth organization, all in the last two years, so he and his family know there are no guarantees.
Sweet admits to feeling the pressure of providing for his family, particularly when things are not going well on the mound.
The right hander is 2-1 this season with a 5.25 ERA and 1.33 WHIP in 20 games with the IronPigs.
“There is a little bit of extra stress,” Sweet said. “But in talking to my wife, she hears me out, provides that assurance that she’s got it, that [the family] will be taken care of no matter what.”
IronPigs manager Anthony Contreras relies on his wife, Carol, to handle all that comes with raising two pre-teens, a son Cole and daughter Addison. The three of them are in Myrtle Beach, S.C., this weekend for a baseball tournament. The family will come to the СŷƵ next week.
Moments such as this weekend are tough on Contreras.
“If I could change it,” he said, “I would have them with me all the time. I love what I do. This is my passion, to coach.
“I want to get to the point where they’re with me on the journey. That’s my goal.”
For now, Contreras leaves his coaching hat in the clubhouse when he does see his kids play. But it’s hard because of the knowledge he has for the game as a former minor league player now in his fourth season as the IronPigs manager.
“I can turn off the coach in me and become just dad until I hear the coaching,” he admitted. “That’s where the professional coach in me gets frustrated because I want my kids to learn how to play the game the right way. If I see coaching going the wrong way, that’s more stuff I have to talk about after the game.
“I try not to involve myself, just be dad. But the coaches do know what I do, so they’ll come and ask me my opinions on things. So, I’ve drawn up practice plans and other things such as defensive positioning. It’s cool when they see it actually work.”
Sweet said he would love to transition to the coaching side of the game to work with players on their routines, pitches, mindset, etc. But there is a caveat.
“If I could find a way to do it and be with my family full time,” he said, “I’d 100% would go for it.”
As Contreras and many others know, however, that often is not possible.
Current IronPigs Garrett Stubbs and Parkland graduate Gabe Mosser are asking teammates about the balance and challenges of fatherhood and baseball. Both will become first-time fathers later this summer.
Here are comments from some of them as fathers and sons:
IronPigs infielder Buddy Kennedy, whose grandfather Don Money spent four seasons with the Phillies:
“My dad, what he put into me is that you want to be the best, the best player on the field no matter what. If you do that, everything will work out the way it’s supposed to. My grandfather, very simple things but translates to me because I had a professional edge to me than most kids have because of his background. Every day I talk to them.”
Former Phillie/IronPig Darin Ruf:
“Last year was the first Father’s Day that I didn’t have to do anything to do at a ballpark, so we went to the pool and won a cardboard boat race. After [Thursday’s Baseballtown hall of fame induction ceremony in Reading], I can’t wait to get back to watching my son play baseball. I’m have so much fun watching him play.”
Former IronPigs manager and current Phillies third-base coach Dusty Wathan:
“Having my dad [John, a former MLB player and manager] here [Thursday in Reading] with Father’s Day being Sunday is pretty cool. I grew up at the ballpark, had a lot of father-son games. Becoming a father, having three of my four kids here and with my wife being a teacher, my family was always at the ballpark. We were always doing something after a game, dinner or standing out here and throwing another 150 pitches to the kids who then jumped in the pool.”
Former Phillies pitching prospect Trevor May:
“This is my first [Father’s Day], so a bunch of us are going bowling first-time fathers. We have kids a few months apart. We’re going to try to get to a baseball game out in Seattle soon.”
IronPigs first baseman Keaton Anthony:
“As I got older, there was a lot more understanding from both of us. [My dad, Mike] understood the player I was becoming. I understood all the things he was trying to teach me growing up. It was hard for him to coach me when I was 10, 11. Way different game than when I was 16, 17. He was hard on me when I was younger, but he built me into the player I’ve become. In college and now in the pros, he’s super understanding if I have a bad at-bat or game. Our relationship has grown every day. It’s never negative.”
Morning Call senior writer Tom Housenick can be reached at thousenick@mcall.com
